Should we say goodbye to chivalry in the age of gender equality?
在性别平等的时代，我们是不是要和 “骑士精神”说再见？
Chivalry arose as a response to the violence of the Middle Ages, explains an Atlantic article. Pier Massimo Forni, a professor of Italian literature and the founder of the Civility Institute at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, US, says that chivalry “was a form of preferential treatment that men once accorded to women generations ago, inspired by the sense that there was something special about women, that they deserve added respect, and that not doing so was uncouth, cowardly and essentially despicable.”
对此，《大西洋月刊》在一篇文章中写到，骑士精神因为中世纪的暴力而兴起。皮耶尔•马西莫•弗尼是美国巴尔的摩市约翰•霍普金斯大学的一名意大利文学教授，也是该校文明研究所的创始人。他认为骑士精神“是沿袭几代人的一种男性为女性提供的优待。因为他们认为女性的某些特殊性应得到特别的尊重；若不提供这些优待就是粗鲁、怯懦，或者简而言之是备受鄙视的。”
Today “chivalry” is often used as a term for “gentlemanly” behavior, manifested through courtesy toward the “fair sex”, honor, courage and loyalty.
在今天，“骑士精神”通常指“绅士的”行为，它体现在对女性的彬彬有礼、尊敬、勇敢以及忠诚之上。
But we see fewer chivalrous gestures these days with old-fashioned dating rituals being replaced with hook-up culture and with many women demanding to be treated equally in the workplace.
随着过时的约会礼仪渐渐被速食的“勾搭文化”所取代，职场中很多女性要求平等对待，绅士行为正变的越来越罕见。
According to a 2013 survey carried out by the British Daily Mail, only one in seven men will offer their seat to a woman on a bus or train; over three-quarters of men don’t offer to help carry a heavy bag or suitcase for women.
英国《每日邮报》2013年的一份调查显示，在公交车和地铁上，只有七分之一的男性愿意给女性让座。超过四分之三的男性不愿意主动为女性提沉重的箱包。
In many cases, it’s not because these men are being insensitive, but on the contrary, they say they are reluctant to help women because they are so worried about offending them and being accused of being patronizing.
很多情况下，没有主动提供帮助的男性并非反应迟钝，恰恰相反，他们表示这是因为担心冒犯到女性，让她们觉得是在接受施舍。
Men unsure
男人们的困惑
These men may worry too much. According to the same survey, only seven percent of women view chivalrous acts such as holding open doors as patronizing.
男人们多虑了。上述调查同时表明，只有7%的女性会把开门这一类绅士行为当做施舍。
“Men seem confused by the modern ‘women want to be treated as equal to men’ message”, UK-based psychologist and relationship expert Donna Dawson told the Daily Mail.
在英国工作的心理学家、人际关系专家唐娜•沃森在接受《每日邮报》采访时表示：“男性似乎对现代‘女性渴望被平等对待’这种说法感到很困惑。”
“This message was primarily meant for the workplace and was never meant to replace good manners. Men will always be the stronger sex, physically, and so it is only natural for them to want to show consideration for women.”
“这主要是指在工作中（女性希望被平等对待），但从来不是指拒绝男性的绅士行为。生理上，男性更加强壮，所以关爱一下女性也是天经地义。”
So, should the ideals of chivalry be brought back? US writer and blogger Emily Esfahani Smith says chivalry is a virtue we should all aspire to. Writing on The New York Times website, Smith says as rape culture seems to be spreading across US campuses, many people are lamenting the death of chivalry. But chivalry is not dead yet. Slowly but surely, says Smith, chivalry is making a comeback.
那么，我们是不是应该呼唤骑士精神的回归呢？美籍作者、博主艾米丽•伊斯法哈尼•史密斯认为，骑士精神是一种人人都要追求的美德。她在《纽约时报》的网站上写道，在“强奸文化”似乎在美国校园大行其道之时，很多人都在哀叹：骑士精神已死。但是，骑士精神并未完全消失。史密斯认为，骑士精神正慢慢回归，而且必将回归。
An initiative called the Gentlemen’s Showcase, led by college women on campuses across the US for the past years, rewards young men for helping out others in need. Ordinary people are beginning to see that chivalry contributes to healthy relationships, says Smith. A study of more than 10,000 young people carried out by the University of Michigan found that the No 1 attribute that both young men and women seek in a mate is not money or beauty or intelligence, but kindness, which lies at the heart of the chivalrous act.
过去几年里，美国大学女生们发起了一项名为“绅士秀”的活动，该活动旨在奖励那些主动帮助他人的年轻男性。史密斯说，普通人也开始认识到骑士精神对于健康和谐人际关系的意义。密歇根大学一项1000多名年轻人参与的调查显示，年轻男女在寻找另一半时考虑的首要因素，不是金钱、外貌，也不是智商，而是善良的品质，而这，恰恰是骑士精神行为的核心。
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